


Hetasexual

by MogiPrince



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Humor, it's a world meeting, its not said but every nation is there i just dont wanna tag em, meant to be satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:31:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MogiPrince/pseuds/MogiPrince
Summary: What an average world meeting is like.Oneshot. No specific pairings (but you can fantasize is you want, I ain't gonna judge.)General Satire and humour.





	Hetasexual

**Author's Note:**

> Everything in this fanfiction is 100% serious and probably 100% canon.

"-For the last time, France, I was not in love with Queen Elizabeth I!" England cried out, throwing his burnt as fuck scone or whatever the fuck he thinks it is (it's shit that's what it is) at France. France screamed and dodged it. All the nations stopped listening to Japan's report and turned towards the two european nations, both of who were standing up. Romano ate a tomato.

" 'Ow dare you! Angleterre, You insolent fool," France squealed, pulling his long silky blonde hair back into a ponytail. He then turned a stanky eye towards England "you could 'ave damaged my hair! I could not live with myself if i 'ad hair like that mop you call hair!"

England growled then pulled his pants up higher like those old timey cartoon when one of the characters are gonna fight another.

"That's it! That's the last straw you bloody frog!"

"Oh, straw like your hair?"

"Ve!"

England pounced across the meeting table and toppled France over, the two immediately being ignored by the rest of the nations present for the meeting Germany had set up. Greece had been dozing off and thinking about cats or some shit while Japan had continued finishing his topic on how real life giant mecha robots would actually be useful to the modern world. Romano ate another tomato. America listened entranced and daydreaming about being the hero in one of those gundams, and Switzerland sighed at the absurdity of the entire idea of bringing more dangerous weapons into creation.

"Japan! You can not possibly think creating this robots are going to do any good for the world other than make war more dangerous?" Switzerland yelled, standing up quick enough to topple his chair over.

"Ve!"

"Well, I think if we-"

"Shut up! Anymore peace destroying ideas from you and I'll beat you to god damn pulp!"

"I just-"

"I said shut up!"

Japan sat down quietly and took his notebook out and jotted down something. The few nations close enough could see the words "Death Note" written on the front of the black book. No one said anything. America then stood up and opened his mouth full of food to say something but someone spoke before he could.

"America, you idiot."

America sat down.

"Ve~"

"Does anyone else have anything important to add to this meeting," Germany asked, stressing out 'important' while clutching the bride of his nose in frustration. Honestly, he just wanted to go home and get drunk with his dogs. Well, not his dogs getting drunk but he definitely wants his dogs to be there.

"Ve~"

America stood up again, this time a few seats closer to Germany.

"America, sit down!"

"I'm Cana-"

"Sit down!"

America sat back down and clutched his maple syrup closer to his chest. He started to weep quietly but no one noticed or cared.

A hand shot up and Germany looked up at the nation and sighed, nodding for the nation to speak.

"I think we should just all become one, da?"

Everyone sighed, all done with Russia's shit. A few nations literally stood up and threw their pens at Russia while booing. Russia smiled then pulled his scarf up higher to hide the depression.

"Ve..."

"Bloody fool!" England yelled while punching France in the throat. Their fight somehow still going on.

"Euh! Sacré Bleu!"

"I think we should have all our desired topics written out first and then sent to Germany to approve of before we all waste our time coming here and reliving the same meeting over and over again," Germany looked up in surprise at the actually intelligent statement. Hungary had her arms crossed and her brows furrowed. She opened one eye and stared hard at the rest of the nations. "You are all so embarrassing sometimes. I have to travel almost three hours to get to England just so I can see two bitchy guys fight and listen to all of you and your dumb ass ideas!? Absurd! I can think of 100 things I could be doing that would be way more efficient than sitting her watching you guys try to breath and think at the same time"

"Ve!"

"She just wants to go home and watch gay porn, wishing she could watch all of us have an orgy." Romania scoffed, turning his head to ignore her death glare. She sputtered out a defense but it was weak.

"Ve...?"

Belarus stared angrily at the rest of the nations and Ukraine's tits bounced even though she wasn't moving.

"Ja, even if her motives aren't pure… I agree with Hungary that our meetings would be so much more progressive if you all hand in your reports to me at least a week before we actually meet up," Germany nodded, writing down hungary's idea on the whiteboard then circled in red. "That way this meetings could be done quicker and we wouldn't waste so much time. This new way of going about our meeting is taking effect immediately! I expect to see you're reports finished at least by March 17th, a full week before our meeting on March 24th."

Most of the nations groaned then nodded. Romano scowled and Spain handed him another fucking tomato.

"Ve~"

France and England finally stood up from their fight, both looking like absolute shit.

"I agree with Germany, I'm done with you lot acting like a bunch of pansy ass twats."

France glared at England's hypocrisy but didn't say anything. Instead he decided he would just catfish England later and make him think some young hot woman wanted him.

"So can we leave then?" Finland asked, shuffling away from Sweden who was inching closer to him by the second.

"Y'h, 'd l'k' t' g' 'om', g't dr'nk 'd be' m' me' t'll 'ts shr'v'l'd." Sweden muttered while holding his fluffy, small dog.

"Ve!"

No one knew what Sweden said but they assumed it was wholesome.

Norway had already left halfway through the meeting, Denmark had attempted to follow but then got pulled into England and France's fight and was now lying unconscious on the ground.

"Ja if everyone's content then I think that means we can leave now." Germany nodded, happy that he could leave and hopeful that Hungary's idea would work.

"Ve~"

"Also someone kill Italy."

**Author's Note:**

> I never said this was going to be good.
> 
> Anyways this is all satire and I wrote this for my friends to make them relive the horrors of hetalia fanfics back in 2008 and to further the horror I am now going to have a conversation with one of the characters.
> 
> Author: Hewwo?
> 
> America: Die you trick ass bitch
> 
> *Author dies lol xD*


End file.
